Dear Stephanie,

Five days ago I honored Jason two years after he departed from this world. He was one of the first people to reach out to me after you left this world ten years ago today. I'm sure he wouldn't mind my handing over the spotlight to you, my best friend forever, today.

There are many firsts that I've experienced after your passing and today is another one - the first decade. I can't believe ten years has gone by since that life-changing day. We're now in the double digits - 10 years.  It doesn't seem that long ago. How could this be?

Maybe it's because you still play a significant role in my life, shaping who I am today.

So much has changed since 2010. The world is in a completely different place than it was back then. In fact, the world is in a different place than it was just six months ago. Masks are in. Huh? Who would have known we'd come to that? I'm guessing yours would be pink. You always seemed content with at-home hobbies, as am I, so I'm sure you'd be fine with the whole "stay home" thing. We'd probably do lots of Zoom calls and maybe even play some games virtually. I also envision us taking some virtual classes together. And I'm sure you'd join the weekly Zoom meetups with the spina bifida group (and in person when we do get together that way). Did you know Zoom started in April the year after you passed? I just looked it up. And yet, I don't recall hearing about it until recently.

One thing I've learned from you over the past ten years is that when I can't change something, don't fight it. Adapt to it. In the weeks after your passing, I kept dwelling on how I wished things were different. I eventually realized this mindset was preventing me from moving on and living the life I deserve. I still miss you as much, or maybe even more than, I did in 2010, but that doesn't mean I can't and shouldn't move on. And I have. You would want me to be happy. I genuinely believe that because when good things happened to me while you were alive in this world, you were always happy for me. I know that will never change.

I've applied that lesson to the current state of the world. There are restrictions in place to keep us safe. I know it is understandably difficult for a lot of people for various reasons, but I'm doing fine. I am long past wishing things were different and I'm focusing on what I can do. I have discovered lots of ways to stay active, both mentally and physically, connect with friends, and even meet some new ones. All of the virtual opportunities that have become available are ideal for me. In-person meetups definitely have their place and I do hope to get back to that way of life one day soon when it is safe to do so, but since I don't drive a lot, as you know, I'm happy with the online opportunities. Some of them are planning to stick around even after we get through the pandemic! Yay!

I'm going to visit your burial site today, so I'm sure we'll chat more then. In the meantime, here's a picture that reminds me of you. These are some crepe myrtles in front of my building. It's the first thing I see when I walk out the front door.  Can you see the heart shape they form with a little pink at the top? This tells me you're not far away from me.

Speaking of hearts, do you remember why hearts remind me of you, besides that they symbolize love? You had asked me to show you how to make the heart shape on line, but I never had the opportunity to do so. I'm sure you know now. As a way to honor you, the profile picture I use most of the time is the beaded heart...because of course, you were also my beading buddy.

Well, I'm going to get going for now. Qandi is calling, so I better go see what she needs. Oh, she says to say hi to you.

Take care and I know we'll keep in touch. Neither of us would have it any other way.

Love ya lots (I remember you used to sign your letters like that),

Meezan